OH HELL NAH ANOTHER SUNDAY HAS GONE AHHHHHHH

Long time no see my old website! I'm still living in a busy life, even I almost abandoned my own website and my workflow before! Actually, I checked my tasks by using the web and app 'Habitica', so that I can handle my tasks as a 'quest' or some 'mission'. But now? I'm not even attended for a while!!! How my life went like that....
Sometimes, I used to think the life if I didn't choose the master course. In Korea, master course may give me some career and will make the employment easier. It means I can get fixed earns and I can keep developing my games in free time. But both, I'm missing so many chances which I can improve my game designing skills, like game conference, game jam, game design seminar, networking, blah blah blah... When I hear the news about them and realize I can reach anything because of my main study, I feel so depressed and somehow feel bitter. Of course that means I need to do harder and harder for both studying and developing games, even reducing the time for playing games. but I ALREADY LIVING LIKE THAT RIGHT NOW!!!!
So I'm not sure whether I live correctly, whether I choosed rightly. But then, what if I give up the master course? I'll be really really poor. Right now, I can earn some money from research funds. My earns are 3 times much then my salary from part time job... If I forgive the study and career, I may get in a real gamble life, which means I have to do part time job until my game hits globally. And someday I'll begun preparing for company. Most of game developer says it is better to get any job if you want to continue making games. That is because of the money. What a boring reason, huh.
I think I'm still in a childhood. I wanted to be a peter pan, and I wanted to follow my own romance, faith, HAPPINESS. But now? I just broke my faith and became a boring man. Ahhhhhh,,,,, I should find the breakthrough about this problem as soon as possible.